Fatherhood for Gay Men

This book mentions the minimal initial co-parenting costs (providing the mother has health insurance.) Raising the child obviously has costs, and this arrangement should be spelled out with a co-parenting contract before the baby is born. There are different levels of involvement-- from a 'close uncle' role to a 50% level in child-raising duties. It also mentions a scary prospect--a biological father saddled with child support without custody rights. Of course, these issues are defined by state law.

Gay Parent magazine

Gay Parent magazine is a newsprint magazine featuring personal stories of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parents from across the country and around the world. Parents speak candidly about adoption, donor insemination, using a surrogate and what it is like to raise their children in their part of the world. The magazine focuses on LGBT families in the NY tri-state (NY, NJ and CT) area. It provides resources on gay-friendly private schools, day and overnight camps and family vacation ideas. Resources also include family building such as reproductive technology, adoption and foster care agencies. Book reviews, news, activities, and events pertaining to LGBT parents and their children are also features.
I've seen occasional co-parenting articles in Gay Parent magazine and recommend it to those considering their options.

The Sperm and Egg Mixer! *CHANGED TO 3/11/09*

Parenting Partnerships is excited about our first 2009 event called the SPERM and EGG MIXER!

Center Families staff has arranged for this on 3/11/09 from 6:30 pm - 8:00 pm. It will be a community forum 'where the joys, challenges and complexities of co-parenting will be shared by those who know best-gay dads and lesbian moms who are parenting cooperatively. Come discover just how creative, innovative and brave LGBT can be when it comes to exploring the possibilities of new kinds of family structures.' There will be guest speakers (co-parenting families) and hopefully some advocates--attorneys, etc.

We're excited, and hope for a huge turn-out.

The Fertility Sourcebook

This book by M. Sara Rosenthal mentions co-parenting as a 'popular route.' It mentions 'mixers' arranged by gay organizations in their gay/lesbian communities. These meetings are arranged through gay magazines, friends and personal ads. It also mentions different scenarios for lesbians--
1-approaching gay men to discuss which partner will be inseminated in a co-parenting arrangement. Then the other lesbian partner and the father adopt the child or
2-requesting a sperm donation for artificial insemination.

Sperm and Egg Mixer - NEW DATE - 3/11/09

Due to unforseen circumstances, Parenting Partnership's SPERM & EGG MIXER has been moved to 3/11/09 from 6:30 - 8:00 pm. We hope to see you all there!

Note: The Center should update their site shortly.

2 Mums and a Dad

I discovered this Australian film which documents the lives of Kellie and Fiona, two thirtysomething lesbians who ask their gay friend Darren to donate sperm. He agrees. They consult with attorneys, draw up a contract outlining how they intend to co-parent and move forward. Tempers flare and hostility erupts, raising questions about the emotional fortitude of this situation and particularly whether a baby is a strong enough force to bind everyone together in this co-parenting situation. They enter uncharted legal and emotional territory, since they are not legally a 'family.' Darren fights to see his son--a nightmare.

According to director Miranda Wills 'the idea for the film came from increasing mainstream interest in gay and lesbian families via newspaper articles and TV news. Gay and lesbian parenting arrangements can be extraordinarily complicated, especially without social and legal safety nets afforded more conventional families. I wanted to make a film that would investigate the issues, raise awareness and spark debate.'
Note that with a complicated patchwork of U.S. laws, the U.S. is anything but united in what defines a family.

Gay and Lesbian Pregnancy Options

This babymed.com article discusses gay and lesbian pregnancy 0ptions--

The Surrogate
This option is utilized by gay and lesbian couples who wish not to carry their own child. The surrogate is impregnated with in-vitro fertilization with the sperm coming from a donor that is either a friend or a sperm bank. It's important to remember the legal ramifications. The surrogate agrees to carry the child and give it up for adoption to the “parents” after childbirth. There have been times when the birth mother chooses to keep the baby after birth and a legal battle ensues.

Donor Sperm
In a lesbian relationship, donor sperm can be used to impregnate one or both parents. The use of in-vitro fertilization will often be used with the one of the lesbian couple being the biological parent of the baby.

Co-Parenting
Co-parenting occurs when a gay and lesbian couple raise a child together. One or both of the lesbians are impregnated with the sperm of the gay male parent. After birth, the couples choose to raise the child together as one family. The impregnation may occur through sexual intercourse or in-vitro fertilization.

Adoption
While there are several cases where gay and lesbian couples have successfully adopted children, the red tape and legal paths are stringent at best. The gay community often face the prejudices of those involved in the adoption process when trying to adopt a child.