Props to Clay Aikin--a co-parent!

Clay Aikin is leading the way in gay co-parenting. He impregnated his best friend, music producer Jaymes Foster through artificial insemination. Reports are that 'Aiken will have an active role in raising the child', a son born on 8/8/08.

Parenting Partnerships at the LGBT Center in NYC-Part II

I met last night with the 'Center Kids Groups' staff, under whose aegis Parenting Partnerships falls. We discussed how to increase membership and group excitement, deciding on an event on Wed, 2/11/09 @ 6:30 pm. We'll invite several successful co-parenting families to discuss their experiences, as well as an attorney specializing in co-parenting contracts. The staff disagree with my feeling that co-parenting will grow in the future; rather that it will remain a niche because it's such a complicated arrangement. It adds undue stress (meeting, 'dating', co-mingling finances with a relative stranger) onto an already stressful event (having children.) For now however, we'll plan for a successful february event.

San Francisco-Prospective Queer Parents

A higher profile co-parenting group exists (or existed) in San Francisco called Prospective Queer Parents. The following 2004 article focuses on these relatively new arrangements in the Bay area. In the 90's they were rare, but co-parenting is now taken more seriously. The law still hasn't caught up with these 21st century families, but neither do judges dismiss co-parenting contracts as frequently. Most important is this sentence on one family comprising three co-parents --'We certainly have a lot of faith and trust in each other.' Also, good communication and honesty are a must. Much like any relationship!
Unfortunately, the group appears to be inactive--their website is not working, and I can't find any current information about them.

Parenting Partnerships at the LGBT Center in NYC--Part I

My first step was finding support and help with my search. I discovered our local Gay Center has a group called PARENTING PARTNERSHIPS:
http://www.gaycenter.org/families/groups
It meets the second wednesday of each month at 6:30 pm. The mission is not only to bring interested gay men and women together to make a co-parent match. There are also occasional speakers who discuss childcare, finances, legal family arrangements, etc. The group is headed by Susan, who found her ‘baby daddy’ at this group in 2001. They now raise their daughter and also live together. The problem—poor attendance, lack of energy and community interest. The group was larger in the years before I joined, but has slowly dwindled to a handful of (often frustrated) regulars. Why? Well, Susan is (understandably) busy with family and work. We’ve neglected outreach. Very few people in the community seem to know about us. We brainstormed during this week’s meeting. A ‘Sperm/Egg Mixer’ was suggested. Cute title! Maybe. An ad in the Center newsletter? Hopefully, the Center will find us as important as the other Family groups—Adoption and Surrogacy. I meet next week with a Center employee—fingers crossed.

Welcome to my blog!

My journey began in earnest this year. A lesbian friend, in a moment which included way too much alcohol stated 'I'll be 41 next week, want to have a baby with me?' WHAT? Well....I'll get back to you. And after several weeks of contemplation, I did. Why not? I'm a fun uncle, responsible and in good health. I called her bluff, after which I received a 'deer in the headlights' look (notice the attached photo, a pretty good recreation of her face...) What must've seemed like a good idea after several margaritas became downright terrifying when sober. And I understood. It IS terrifying.
But I didn't let the idea drop. I'm looking for a woman who also wants a baby. Let's raise a child together. We can be close friends. The divorce rate is 50%. So in my opinion we have just as good a chance of making this work as a married couple.
The last few months have been an adventure. I've made new friends and learned a lot. No match yet, but keep tuned.